Jack Kennedy and Lem Billings-Extraordinary Friendship

From My Book Readings This Week:

The Man Who Had a Room in the Kennedy White House  And Why the Story Still Matters💚💚

Every few years, an old black-and-white photograph resurfaces online, usually accompanied by a breathless caption: “The man who had his own room in the Kennedy White House and the beautiful reason why America’s most powerful family never let him go.”

It’s evocative. It’s intimate. And like many viral historical posts, it contains truth, omission, and projection all tangled together.

So what is the real story?

 The Historical Core: A Lifelong Companion

There was a man who remained unusually close to John F. Kennedy from adolescence through the presidency. Their bond began in prep school, deepened through illness, war, politics, and tragedy, and endured long after Kennedy’s death.

This man was not a political advisor, not Secret Service, not family by blood, yet he moved freely within the Kennedy orbit for decades. He stayed at the White House. He accompanied the family during private moments. He was present in times of grief when cameras were absent.

That level of access was extraordinary, especially in mid-20th-century America.

What We Know for Certain

What is documented, through letters, diaries, and accounts from those who knew the family, is this:

• The relationship was deeply emotional, loyal, and sustained over a lifetime.

• He provided companionship during Kennedy’s chronic illness and recovery.

• He was trusted by the Kennedy parents and siblings alike.

• After the assassination, he remained closely tied to the family, serving as a living link to their lost son and brother.

He was, by all reliable accounts, family-just not in the conventional sense.

Where the Internet Fills in the Gaps

What the historical record does not conclusively prove is a sexual or romantic relationship.

Modern audiences often look back and ask questions that earlier generations could not safely ask out loud. In an era when homosexuality was criminalized, careers destroyed, and lives ruined by rumor, silence was not ambiguity-it was survival.

Some historians argue for a romantic interpretation. Others strongly dispute it. There is no definitive evidence that settles the question beyond doubt.

What is clear is that applying modern labels retroactively can oversimplify lives lived under vastly different social constraints.

Why the Kennedys “Never Let Him Go”

The enduring bond wasn’t necessarily about romance. It was about constancy.

In a family defined by ambition, public performance, and relentless tragedy, this man represented something rare: someone who knew John before the speeches, before the power, before the myth. Someone who remembered the fragile boy behind the legend.

After the assassination, he became a keeper of memory, someone who loved John as a person, not as a symbol.

And that, perhaps, is the “beautiful reason” he remained.

Why This Story Resonates Today

This story endures not because it offers scandal, but because it challenges narrow definitions of intimacy.

Not every profound bond fits neatly into categories. Some relationships are emotional lifelines. Some are chosen family. Some defy the language available to describe them at the time.

In a world still struggling to understand masculinity, vulnerability, and love between men, this story feels unfinished—because in many ways, it is.

A Final Thought

History doesn’t always give us clean answers. Sometimes it gives us human closeness that refuses to be reduced.

And perhaps the most honest way to honor this story is not to label it, but to recognize the quiet power of loyalty, presence, and love that dares not speak its name, yet speaks through a lifetime.

For Details visit: https://paw.princeton.edu/article/best-friend

Meanwhile, here's the AI Overview on the Above Topic 

💚

The man who had his own room in the Kennedy White House and the beautiful reason why the most powerful family in America never let him go.

💚💚This photograph shows young Jack Kennedy with Lem Billings in 1933, the year they met at Choate preparatory school. They were just teenagers, Jack, charismatic but sickly; Lem, tall and awkward but fiercely loyal. Neither could have known they were beginning a friendship that would last until the day a bullet ended it in Dallas.

From that first meeting, they were inseparable. While other school friendships faded after graduation, theirs only deepened. Through Harvard, through the Navy, through Jack's entry into politics, through his marriage, through his path to the presidency, Lem was there. Always.

Jackie Kennedy once observed that no one could make her husband laugh the way Lem Billings could. In a life filled with political calculation and constant performance, Lem represented something Jack rarely experienced: unconditional acceptance. With Lem, he didn't have to be Senator Kennedy or President Kennedy. He could just be Jack.

The Kennedy family didn't just tolerate Lem-they claimed him. He had his own room at the White House. He had his own room at Hyannis Port. He spent holidays with the family, attended intimate gatherings, and was present for both celebrations and tragedies. Joe Kennedy Sr., the demanding patriarch not known for sentimentality, treated Lem like another son.

What made this extraordinary was something everyone in the family knew but few outside discussed openly: Lem Billings was gay.

In the 1930s, 40s, 50s, and 60s-when homosexuality was criminalized, medicalized, and socially destroyed lives, the Kennedy family simply didn't care. Or rather, they cared about Lem, not about who he loved. In an era when gay men were arrested, fired, blackmailed, and driven to suicide, Lem found complete acceptance in America's most prominent Catholic family.

JFK never wavered in his loyalty. During his presidency, when political advisors might have suggested distance, when opponents could have used the friendship as ammunition, Jack kept Lem close. During the long nights when chronic back pain left the President bedridden and heavily medicated, Lem would visit. They'd talk for hours, laugh about their school days, and find comfort in shared memories. Jackie wrote about hearing their laughter echoing through the upstairs halls of the White House, two middle-aged men giggling like the schoolboys they'd once been.

Some people, then and now, try to read more into their relationship. But those who knew them understood: theirs was a bond of profound platonic love. The kind of friendship where you know someone's entire story, where you've seen them at their worst and best, where you're woven into the fabric of their life so completely that you become family.

Anyone who's had a true lifelong friend understands this. It's not romantic, it's deeper than that. It's witnessing someone's whole existence and choosing them anyway, again and again, year after year.

November 22, 1963, shattered Lem's world. When JFK was assassinated, Lem didn't just lose his best friend, he lost his anchor. But the Kennedy family didn't let him drift away. Bobby Kennedy's children, particularly Bobby Jr. and David, became Lem's focus. He mentored them, guided them, tried to be for them what Jack had been for him.

Jackie remained in Lem's life too, though their relationship was complicated. She recognized how much Jack had needed Lem, even if she'd sometimes felt like an outsider to their private world of inside jokes and shared history.

But Lem was never the same. Friends watched him spiral. He struggled with addiction, alcohol, then prescription drugs, trying to numb the loss. He threw himself into Bobby Kennedy's children, perhaps trying to save them from the darkness that followed their father's assassination too.

On May 28, 1981, Lem Billings died of a heart attack at age 65. Many who knew him believed he'd been dying slowly since Dallas. He'd never married, never found a long-term partner. By some accounts, he'd said that Jack Kennedy had occupied such a significant space in his life that there wasn't room for anyone else.

His story matters for reasons beyond the Kennedy legend. Lem Billings lived openly gay within one of America's most powerful families during an era when that could destroy lives. The Kennedys' acceptance of him, complete, unwavering, familial was radical for its time.

It's a reminder that love comes in many forms. That friendship can be as profound as any romance. That true loyalty survives politics, scandal, death, and decades. That some families choose love over prejudice, even when the world around them doesn't.

Lem Billings never got to marry the person he loved because society wouldn't allow it. But he did experience unconditional acceptance from people who mattered to him most. He had a family that claimed him. He had a friend who never let him go.

And for 30 years, two boys who met at prep school in 1933 proved that the truest friendships don't just last a lifetime, they define it.

If you've ever had a friend who knew your whole story and loved you anyway, you understand what Jack and Lem had. Share their story.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1974764276438067/

💚Jack and Lem: John F. Kennedy and Lem Billings: The Untold Story of an Extraordinary Friendship is a nonfiction book by journalist David Pitts that tells the story of the lifelong bond between President John F. Kennedy (Jack) and his closest friend Kirk LeMoyne “Lem” Billings,  a relationship that lasted from their teenage years in prep school through Kennedy’s presidency and up to the president’s assassination in 1963. 

What the Book Is About

• Friendship from youth through Camelot: The book traces how Jack and Lem met as teenagers at Choate Rosemary Hall in the early 1930s, became inseparable companions, traveled together (including a formative summer in Europe in 1937), and remained close through World War II, Kennedy’s political rise, and his time in the White House. 

• Primary sources: Pitts based his narrative on hundreds of letters, telegrams, newly available archival materials from the John F. Kennedy Library, and interviews with friends and family of both men, including figures like Ben Bradlee, Gore Vidal, and Ted Sorensen. 

• Billings’s presence in the White House: Although Billings never held an official government post, Kennedy valued him so highly that he often spent weekends in the White House and even had his own room there, a striking detail given the era’s social norms. 

• Context of sexuality and homophobia: Lem Billings was gay, though not publicly out in his lifetime. The book explores the complexities of their friendship in a period of widespread homophobia, and how Kennedy’s loyalty to Billings stood out in that context. 

Relationship vs. Romance

• Platonic but deep: Pitts portrays the relationship as extraordinary and deeply affectionate but primarily a profound friendship, not a confirmed romantic partnership. Kennedy is reported to have rebuffed at least one advance from Billings early on (“I’m not that kind of boy”), and their bond continued as a close, emotionally intimate friendship. 

• Debate and speculation: Some writers and later commentators have suggested more intimate interpretations, but Pitts himself does not assert that the two had a sexual relationship; his focus remains on the emotional depth and loyalty of their connection. 

 Reception and Significance

• Critical response: Reviews noted that the book adds new insight to Kennedy lore by documenting this lesser-known aspect of his life and character, drawing praise from outlets like Publishers Weekly and The Advocate. 

• Value to history: Beyond the personal story, the book also sheds light on the social climate of mid-20th-century America, especially regarding LGBTQ issues in elite circles and politics during the Kennedy era. 

In short: Jack and Lem is a well-researched biography that highlights one of JFK’s most enduring and meaningful relationships. It frames their bond as a remarkable testament to loyalty and affection across decades and social expectations, without asserting definitive romantic involvement but leaving room for readers to understand its emotional complexity.

The English Word-Boondocks, Juan Luna, Spoliaruim

Did you know the English word “boondocks”, meaning a remote, rural area comes from the Tagalog word “bundok” (mountain)?

American soldiers picked it up while serving in the Philippines in the early 1900s and brought it back to the United States, where it became part of everyday English.

So every time someone in America says “the boondocks”. They’re speaking a Filipino word.

Did you know that some Tagalog words quietly entered the English language?

Meanwhile, 

When Filipinos Shocked Europe in 1884. At the 1884 Exposición Nacional de Bellas Artes in Madrid, something unthinkable happened:

• Juan Luna won the Gold Medal for Spoliarium💚

• Félix Resurrección Hidalgo won the Silver Medal

This wasn’t just an art win. It was a political scandal.

Two “Indios” from a colony had beaten Spain’s and Europe’s best painters on Spanish soil.

For the first time, the world was forced to admit something dangerous to empire:

Filipinos were intellectually and artistically equal if not superior to their colonizers.

This moment didn’t just inspire artists. It helped ignite nationalism.

Did you know art once shook the Spanish empire?

💚Spoliarium is a monumental oil painting created in 1884 by the renowned Filipino artist Juan Luna. Standing at a massive 4.22 by 7.675 meters, it is the largest painting in the Philippines and serves as the centerpiece of the National Museum of Fine Arts in Manila. 

Key Facts

• Subject Matter: The painting depicts the "spoliarium", the basement of a Roman amphitheater where the bodies of fallen gladiators are dragged after combat, stripped of their armor, and left to be mourned by loved ones or scavenged for possessions.
• Symbolism: While it portrays Roman history, the work is widely interpreted as a powerful allegory for the suffering of Filipinos under Spanish colonial rule.
• Recognition: Luna earned a gold medal at the Exposición Nacional de Bellas Artes in Madrid in 1884 for this masterpiece, a feat that bolstered Filipino national pride and inspired revolutionaries like José Rizal.
• History: After being exhibited in Europe, it was eventually gifted to the Philippines by Spain in the 1950s. During its journey, the canvas was notoriously cut into three pieces to fit into shipping crates and was later restored by Antonio Dumlao. 

Lastly, here's the top Five News  of the Day:  

• Winter Olympics Preparations Continue Despite Hurdles
  IOC Chief says preparations for the Milano Cortina 2026 Winter Olympics have

   faced challenges (like venue construction delays), but the Games are still expected

   to be memorable when they open on February 6. 

• Russia Strikes Ukraine’s Energy Infrastructure
  Russia launched hundreds of drones and missiles targeting Ukraine’s energy 

  facilities ahead of peace talks, prompting Ukrainian President Zelenskyy to call

   for increased international pressure. 

• Partial U.S. Government Shutdown Still Unresolved
  Lawmakers have yet to end the partial government shutdown, with discussions 

  continuing and political maneuvering ongoing. 

• Current Top Headlines Briefing
  The Washington Post highlights key U.S. political developments — including 

  the shutdown, news involving Bill and Hillary Clinton, and cultural stories — 

  in its daily briefing. 

• Local & Sports Headlines from Morning Roundups
  Regional morning news services are reporting a mix of updates, including a

   major sports venue set to host Olympic soccermatches in 2028. 

When Dreams Borrow from a Life Well Lived

When Dreams Borrow From a Life Well Lived

I woke up unusually early this morning with something rare in my mind: a dream I could remember.

Most mornings, dreams slip away from me almost instantly, dissolving before coffee has a chance to work. But this one stayed. Vivid. Detailed. And curious in the way it blended fact and fiction so seamlessly that, for a moment, I wasn’t sure where memory ended and imagination began.

The dream carried me back to the early years of my professional life, when ambition still felt new and every opportunity seemed improbably large.

In the dream, I was a young project manager hired by a multi-billion-dollar company to assist the Vice President of Research. Even in the dream, I knew how unusual that was, especially as a Filipino-American at that time. The reason for my hiring was clear and rooted in truth: my graduate thesis on ylang-ylang oil. The company was developing a fragrance meant to compete with Chanel No. 5, whose signature ingredient is, famously, ylang-ylang. That part wasn’t fiction at all.

As dreams often do, it heightened certain details. During my first week, I was introduced to both top management and the rank-and-file research employees. I noticed, as I had in real life, how many Filipino-Americans worked there, mostly as lab technicians, clerks, secretaries, data entry staff, even janitors. In the dream, they were proud of me, but also quietly protective, warning me to be careful navigating upper management. That caution, too, felt true to life.

One scene stood out. A data entry employee, another Ilonggo like me, asked for help with his tedious workload. In the dream, I told him bluntly that AI could do this work easily, and that he should learn how to use new tools before they replaced him. That moment clearly belonged to the present, not the past. My sleeping mind had pulled today’s reality into yesterday’s setting.

There were also two cafeterias in the facility: one for everyone, and another reserved exclusively for management. I could eat in either. That detail echoed my very first job at a European multinational subsidiary, where there were also two cafeterias and where I was definitely not allowed into the executive one. I remember wondering then what was different about the food, and what it symbolized.

And then came the FDA.

In the dream, my boss, the VP of Research, called me in to say that our fragrance application had been temporarily disapproved. The FDA needed more data. I was told to prepare for travel to FDA headquarters.

That was the moment I woke up, energized, alert, and strangely excited. Instead of brushing the dream aside, I did what I’ve done for years now: I started writing.

So what do dreams like this mean?

I don’t believe dreams are random. But I also don’t think they are prophecies. More often, they are conversations, between who we were, who we are, and what still matters to us. Dreams borrow freely from memory, emotion, unfinished questions, and current anxieties. They remix facts and fiction not to confuse us, but to reveal patterns.

In this dream, I saw themes that have followed me my entire career:

Identity and belonging, access and hierarchy, innovation and disruption, and the constant presence of the FDA as both gatekeeper and guardian.

It was a dream about ambition, yes, but also about responsibility. About standing between worlds: management and staff, past and future, human labor and artificial intelligence, science and regulation.

Perhaps the dream wasn’t about what might happen. Perhaps it was about what already has.

After decades of professional life, including my years at the FDA, my mind may simply be taking inventory, connecting early aspirations with later realities, and reminding me that none of it happened in isolation.

Dreams don’t always give us answers. Sometimes they just return our own stories to us, rearranged, and ask us to look again.  This morning, I did.

Meanwhile, here's the AI Overview on the Above Topic:

When we speak of dreams "borrowing" from a life well lived, 

we explore the profound connection between our waking experiences and our subconscious reflections. A life rich in purpose and fulfillment often fuels a dream state that is equally vibrant, serving as a "rehearsal space" for our deepest values. 

How Dreams and Life Intertwine

• Reflections of Reality: Dreams are often a blend of personal experiences, emotions, and subconscious thoughts gathered from your daily life. A day filled with meaningful activities naturally leads to a more restful and "happy" sleep.
• The Gift of Rehearsal: Dreaming is considered an evolutionary gift, allowing us to safely test possibilities before they become part of our reality.
• Authenticity Over Imitation: A "life well lived" requires stripping away "borrowed dreams"—ambitions inherited from others or society—until only your authentic desires remain. As Steve Jobs famously said, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life". 

Wisdom on Living and Dreaming

Historical thinkers have long emphasized the synergy between a well-used life and the quality of our internal visions:

• Henry David Thoreau: Advocated for moving "confidently in the direction of your dreams" and living the life you have imagined. He believed our "truest life" is when we are "in dreams awake".
• Kālidāsa: Noted that "today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope".
• James Dean: Popularized the sentiment to "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today". 

A life well lived is not merely about achieving goals, but about finding peace in the struggle and joy in small victories, ensuring that when time is up, there is no regret, only a sense of completion

Lastly, here are the top Five News of the Day:

1. House Republicans hopeful to end partial government shutdown — U.S. House leaders express optimism about avoiding a prolonged shutdown ahead of a deadline. 

2. Grammys highlights: Bad Bunny makes history & Kendrick Lamar wins big — Bad Bunny becomes the first Spanish-language artist to win Album of the Year, and Kendrick Lamar surpasses Jay-Z as the most awarded rapper. 

3. New Jeffrey Epstein files allege broader trafficking activity — Newly released documents suggest Epstein may have trafficked girls to third parties, prompting renewed scrutiny. 

4. Five-year-old boy released, returns home from ICE detention — After being held at a Texas ICE facility, 5-year-old Liam Conejo Ramos and his father are reunited in Minnesota. 

5. NASA prepares for flight of Artemis II lunar mission — NASA’s Artemis II crew enters final preparations for launch this week, the first human Moon mission since 1972. 

My Photo of the Day: Leif-Ditas Pet Dog in Sacramento-What a Beautiful Backyard  

A Fried Pompano in MY Door This Morning

A Pompano at the Door: A Morning I Will Never Forget

This morning began like any other, until it didn’t.

When I opened my door this morning, there was a package waiting for me. Inside: a perfectly fried pompano, steaming white rice, and bok choy. No note. No name. Just one of my favorite fish dishes, prepared with care and intention.

For a moment, I simply stood there, surprised and a little puzzled. I called the front desk to ask if I had a visitor earlier that morning. They checked. No record. No outside guest. 

That’s when a quiet realization settled in: this had to be an inside job.

As I prepared to head over to Newton’s Restaurant  for my take-home brunch buffet, my mind was already full, wondering who would know my love for pompano, and who would take the time to do something so thoughtful without seeking credit. Gratitude and curiosity followed me as I stood in line, packing my brunch containers.

And then, one of those moments that stays with you.

Just as I finished filling my first dish, a voice behind me asked softly:

“Did you like the pompano?”

I turned around, and there she was, Martha Rodriguez, one of my favorite servers here at The Heritage Downtown.

I didn’t hesitate. I hugged her and thanked her profusely. The mystery was solved, but the meaning of the moment only deepened.

Martha told me that pompano is her daughter’s favorite fish, and when she bought one for her family, she decided to purchase an extra, for me. No announcement. No expectation. Just a simple, generous act of kindness.

In all my years of living, writing, and observing human nature, I have learned this:
True kindness is almost always quiet.

This was not about the fish, though it was delicious.
It was about being seen. Remembered. Thought of.

Acts like this remind me why The Heritage Downtown, Walnut Creek, is not just where I live, it is home. This is an active senior living community, yes, but more importantly, it is a place where the kitchen staff, servers, and support teams bring their humanity to work every single day.

To Martha, and to all the kitchen and serving crew at THD: thank you.
Thank you for the meals, the smiles, the conversations, and the countless small kindnesses that often go unnoticed, but never unfelt.

This one, I will never forget. And Martha, once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Tears of Joy, I am feeling now, as I write this posting.  Below are articles, I have written and experience the Act of Kindness I have received from Friends and Strangers!

My Articles Related to the Act of Kindness and Pompano:

https://chateaudumer.blogspot.com/2021/09/an-act-of-kindness-from-young-stranger.html

https://chateaudumer.blogspot.com/2013/06/three-acts-of-kindness-from-strangers.html

https://chateaudumer.blogspot.com/2020/09/coping-up-with-grief-picking-up.html

https://chateaudumer.blogspot.com/2021/12/some-of-my-favorite-quotes-on-kindness.html

https://chateaudumer.blogspot.com/2016/08/grilled-pompano-fish-from-sea-food-city.html

Lastly, My Photo of the Day