When Dreams Borrow from a Life Well Lived

When Dreams Borrow From a Life Well Lived

I woke up unusually early this morning with something rare in my mind: a dream I could remember.

Most mornings, dreams slip away from me almost instantly, dissolving before coffee has a chance to work. But this one stayed. Vivid. Detailed. And curious in the way it blended fact and fiction so seamlessly that, for a moment, I wasn’t sure where memory ended and imagination began.

The dream carried me back to the early years of my professional life, when ambition still felt new and every opportunity seemed improbably large.

In the dream, I was a young project manager hired by a multi-billion-dollar company to assist the Vice President of Research. Even in the dream, I knew how unusual that was, especially as a Filipino-American at that time. The reason for my hiring was clear and rooted in truth: my graduate thesis on ylang-ylang oil. The company was developing a fragrance meant to compete with Chanel No. 5, whose signature ingredient is, famously, ylang-ylang. That part wasn’t fiction at all.

As dreams often do, it heightened certain details. During my first week, I was introduced to both top management and the rank-and-file research employees. I noticed, as I had in real life, how many Filipino-Americans worked there, mostly as lab technicians, clerks, secretaries, data entry staff, even janitors. In the dream, they were proud of me, but also quietly protective, warning me to be careful navigating upper management. That caution, too, felt true to life.

One scene stood out. A data entry employee, another Ilonggo like me, asked for help with his tedious workload. In the dream, I told him bluntly that AI could do this work easily, and that he should learn how to use new tools before they replaced him. That moment clearly belonged to the present, not the past. My sleeping mind had pulled today’s reality into yesterday’s setting.

There were also two cafeterias in the facility: one for everyone, and another reserved exclusively for management. I could eat in either. That detail echoed my very first job at a European multinational subsidiary, where there were also two cafeterias and where I was definitely not allowed into the executive one. I remember wondering then what was different about the food, and what it symbolized.

And then came the FDA.

In the dream, my boss, the VP of Research, called me in to say that our fragrance application had been temporarily disapproved. The FDA needed more data. I was told to prepare for travel to FDA headquarters.

That was the moment I woke up, energized, alert, and strangely excited. Instead of brushing the dream aside, I did what I’ve done for years now: I started writing.

So what do dreams like this mean?

I don’t believe dreams are random. But I also don’t think they are prophecies. More often, they are conversations, between who we were, who we are, and what still matters to us. Dreams borrow freely from memory, emotion, unfinished questions, and current anxieties. They remix facts and fiction not to confuse us, but to reveal patterns.

In this dream, I saw themes that have followed me my entire career:

Identity and belonging, access and hierarchy, innovation and disruption, and the constant presence of the FDA as both gatekeeper and guardian.

It was a dream about ambition, yes, but also about responsibility. About standing between worlds: management and staff, past and future, human labor and artificial intelligence, science and regulation.

Perhaps the dream wasn’t about what might happen. Perhaps it was about what already has.

After decades of professional life, including my years at the FDA, my mind may simply be taking inventory, connecting early aspirations with later realities, and reminding me that none of it happened in isolation.

Dreams don’t always give us answers. Sometimes they just return our own stories to us, rearranged, and ask us to look again.  This morning, I did.

Meanwhile, here's the AI Overview on the Above Topic:

When we speak of dreams "borrowing" from a life well lived, 

we explore the profound connection between our waking experiences and our subconscious reflections. A life rich in purpose and fulfillment often fuels a dream state that is equally vibrant, serving as a "rehearsal space" for our deepest values. 

How Dreams and Life Intertwine

• Reflections of Reality: Dreams are often a blend of personal experiences, emotions, and subconscious thoughts gathered from your daily life. A day filled with meaningful activities naturally leads to a more restful and "happy" sleep.
• The Gift of Rehearsal: Dreaming is considered an evolutionary gift, allowing us to safely test possibilities before they become part of our reality.
• Authenticity Over Imitation: A "life well lived" requires stripping away "borrowed dreams"—ambitions inherited from others or society—until only your authentic desires remain. As Steve Jobs famously said, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life". 

Wisdom on Living and Dreaming

Historical thinkers have long emphasized the synergy between a well-used life and the quality of our internal visions:

• Henry David Thoreau: Advocated for moving "confidently in the direction of your dreams" and living the life you have imagined. He believed our "truest life" is when we are "in dreams awake".
• Kālidāsa: Noted that "today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope".
• James Dean: Popularized the sentiment to "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today". 

A life well lived is not merely about achieving goals, but about finding peace in the struggle and joy in small victories, ensuring that when time is up, there is no regret, only a sense of completion

Lastly, here are the top Five News of the Day:

1. House Republicans hopeful to end partial government shutdown — U.S. House leaders express optimism about avoiding a prolonged shutdown ahead of a deadline. 

2. Grammys highlights: Bad Bunny makes history & Kendrick Lamar wins big — Bad Bunny becomes the first Spanish-language artist to win Album of the Year, and Kendrick Lamar surpasses Jay-Z as the most awarded rapper. 

3. New Jeffrey Epstein files allege broader trafficking activity — Newly released documents suggest Epstein may have trafficked girls to third parties, prompting renewed scrutiny. 

4. Five-year-old boy released, returns home from ICE detention — After being held at a Texas ICE facility, 5-year-old Liam Conejo Ramos and his father are reunited in Minnesota. 

5. NASA prepares for flight of Artemis II lunar mission — NASA’s Artemis II crew enters final preparations for launch this week, the first human Moon mission since 1972. 

My Photo of the Day: Leif-Ditas Pet Dog in Sacramento-What a Beautiful Backyard  

A Fried Pompano in MY Door This Morning

A Pompano at the Door: A Morning I Will Never Forget

This morning began like any other, until it didn’t.

When I opened my door this morning, there was a package waiting for me. Inside: a perfectly fried pompano, steaming white rice, and bok choy. No note. No name. Just one of my favorite fish dishes, prepared with care and intention.

For a moment, I simply stood there, surprised and a little puzzled. I called the front desk to ask if I had a visitor earlier that morning. They checked. No record. No outside guest. 

That’s when a quiet realization settled in: this had to be an inside job.

As I prepared to head over to Newton’s Restaurant  for my take-home brunch buffet, my mind was already full, wondering who would know my love for pompano, and who would take the time to do something so thoughtful without seeking credit. Gratitude and curiosity followed me as I stood in line, packing my brunch containers.

And then, one of those moments that stays with you.

Just as I finished filling my first dish, a voice behind me asked softly:

“Did you like the pompano?”

I turned around, and there she was, Martha Rodriguez, one of my favorite servers here at The Heritage Downtown.

I didn’t hesitate. I hugged her and thanked her profusely. The mystery was solved, but the meaning of the moment only deepened.

Martha told me that pompano is her daughter’s favorite fish, and when she bought one for her family, she decided to purchase an extra, for me. No announcement. No expectation. Just a simple, generous act of kindness.

In all my years of living, writing, and observing human nature, I have learned this:
True kindness is almost always quiet.

This was not about the fish, though it was delicious.
It was about being seen. Remembered. Thought of.

Acts like this remind me why The Heritage Downtown, Walnut Creek, is not just where I live, it is home. This is an active senior living community, yes, but more importantly, it is a place where the kitchen staff, servers, and support teams bring their humanity to work every single day.

To Martha, and to all the kitchen and serving crew at THD: thank you.
Thank you for the meals, the smiles, the conversations, and the countless small kindnesses that often go unnoticed, but never unfelt.

This one, I will never forget. And Martha, once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Tears of Joy, I am feeling now, as I write this posting.  Below are articles, I have written and experience the Act of Kindness I have received from Friends and Strangers!

My Articles Related to the Act of Kindness and Pompano:

https://chateaudumer.blogspot.com/2021/09/an-act-of-kindness-from-young-stranger.html

https://chateaudumer.blogspot.com/2013/06/three-acts-of-kindness-from-strangers.html

https://chateaudumer.blogspot.com/2020/09/coping-up-with-grief-picking-up.html

https://chateaudumer.blogspot.com/2021/12/some-of-my-favorite-quotes-on-kindness.html

https://chateaudumer.blogspot.com/2016/08/grilled-pompano-fish-from-sea-food-city.html

Lastly, My Photo of the Day 

Marriage is a Catalyst for Psychological Transformation

This Posting is inspired from my recent reading on Psychology Today as well as the the question I was often asked from several of my Fellow THD residents:

David, How Long Have you been Married?

I could personally identify with the tone of this article, after being married for over 63 years to one person

Marriage isn't just a legal status. Research shows it triggers universal personality shifts that make couples more dependable but less social and patient.

Marriage is more than a change in legal status; it is a catalyst for significant psychological transformation. According to a study tracking 169 newlyweds over 18 months, the first two years of marriage fundamentally alter core personality traits.

Men generally become more conscientious and dependable, while women experience increased emotional stability, reporting lower levels of anxiety and anger. However, this transition often leads to a decrease in "openness" as couples settle into domestic routines and a decline in extroversion as they prioritize their partner over their broader social circles.

These shifts appear to be a universal part of the marital experience, occurring regardless of age, whether a couple lived together beforehand, or if they have children. As the "courtship mask" of the early relationship fades, partners often become less patient and more disagreeable with one another. Because these personality changes are largely unavoidable, experts suggest that long-term success depends on more than just compatibility. Instead, the survival of a marriage relies on the active development of self-control and the practice of forgiveness to navigate the inevitable changes in how partners relate to each other.

Source: Lavner, J. A., Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. Personality change among newlyweds: Patterns, predictors, and associations with marital satisfaction. Developmental Psychology.

Meanwhile, here's my personal reflection on the above Topic: A Wisdom Learned after being Married for over 63 Years 

When I first married, I believed, quietly, confidently that I more or less knew who I was. I had opinions shaped by years of work, success and failure, convictions earned the hard way, and emotional habits I mistook for wisdom. Marriage didn’t challenge those beliefs all at once. It did something far more effective. It lived with them. I was only 23 years old, then. 

Marriage has a way of revealing the self you didn’t know you were still carrying. Not the polished public self, but the private one, the impatient one, the defensive one, the one that wants to be right more than it wants to be understood. No career review, therapy session, or solitary reflection ever held up that mirror for me the way marriage did.

I learned quickly that love does not erase our psychological wiring; it activates it.

The small moments were the most instructive. How I reacted when plans changed. How I responded to criticism I didn’t think was fair. How silence could feel safer than vulnerability. Marriage exposed patterns I had carried for decades without naming them. And once named, they could no longer hide.

What surprised me most was how deeply marriage reached into my past. Conflicts were rarely just about the present moment; they were echoes of earlier lessons about control, independence, and self-protection. Marriage didn’t create those tensions, it revealed them. It forced me to ask whether I wanted to remain emotionally intact or emotionally honest.

Over time, I noticed something else: marriage reshaped my sense of identity. Decisions that once belonged solely to me now required conversation, patience, and compromise. At first, this felt like a loss. Later, it felt like an expansion. I was no longer performing a version of myself; I was becoming one.

Marriage demanded skills I had never needed to master alone listening without preparing a rebuttal, apologizing without qualifying it, staying present when withdrawal felt easier. These were not romantic achievements. They were psychological ones.

And perhaps the most humbling lesson of all was this: growth in marriage is uneven. Sometimes I moved forward. Sometimes I resisted. Sometimes my partner grew faster than I did, forcing me to confront stagnation I would have otherwise ignored. Marriage, I’ve learned, is not about mutual perfection, it is about mutual patience.

Looking back, I no longer see marriage as a destination or a settled state. I see it as an ongoing psychological apprenticeship. It doesn’t promise comfort, but it offers something rarer: the opportunity to become more self-aware, more emotionally literate, and if we allow it, more fully human.

Marriage did not change who I was overnight. It simply made it impossible for me to stay the same.

MEANWHILE. Here's some notable quotes on marriage: 

Important marriage quotes 

highlight love, forgiveness, friendship, commitment, and growth, emphasizing it as a journey of imperfect people learning to enjoy differences, a partnership requiring effort, and a profound bond that deepens over time. Key themes include finding joy in companionship, the ongoing practice of love, and building a life greater than the sum of two individuals. 

On Love & Friendship:

• "A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." - Ruth Bell Graham
• "Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of becoming passionate friends." - Harville Hendrix
• "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."- Unknown
• "Love is a friendship set to music." - Augustus William Hare 

On Effort & Commitment:

• "A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other." - Unknown
• "A great marriage isn't something that just happens; it's something that must be created." - Fawn Weaver
• "Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day."- Barbara De Angelis
• "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." - André Maurois 

• My Quote of the Day:  

  
  

  “Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.” Anonymous

   

  My Photo of the Day: 

• 
  Wedding Day, May 8, 1957, Boac, Marinduque, Philippines 
  
  
• Finally, here are the top Five News of the Day:

• 1. Major global events roundup — A daily summary of the most significant overnight national and global news. 

• 2. NASA’s Artemis 2 test — NASA begins a critical wet dress rehearsal fueling test for the Artemis 2 moon mission, advancing preparations for the next crewed lunar flight. 

• 3. Australian Open breakthrough — Carlos Alcaraz defeats Novak Djokovic to win the Australian Open men’s title, completing his career Grand Slam at a young age. 

• 4. Zaporizhzhia hospital attack — Russian forces reportedly bomb a maternity hospital in Zaporizhzhia, Ukraine, injuring civilians amid the ongoing conflict. 

• 5. 2026 Grammy Awards happening today — The 66th Annual Grammy Awards take place in Los Angeles with live performances, red carpet, and major nominees in music’s biggest night.

Why Do Some People Just Click- Interpersonal Synchrony

Why Some People “Just Click”

A Personal Reflection After Years of Watching Human Nature

I recently read a Wall Street Journal article by Kate Murphy titled “Why Do Some People Just Click?” It explores what scientists call interpersonal synchrony, the subtle, often unconscious way people fall into rhythm with one another. As I read it, I found myself nodding repeatedly, not because the science was surprising, but because it gave language to something I have been witnessing for most of my adult life.

After more than fifteen years of blogging and many decades of simply paying attention, I’ve seen this phenomenon play out in conference rooms, hospital corridors, parish halls, family gatherings, and chance conversations with strangers. Sometimes you meet someone and within minutes it feels as if the conversation has already been underway for years. Other times, just as quickly, you sense friction, discomfort, or an unspoken resistance. Nothing dramatic is said, yet everything is communicated.

Looking back, I can now see how often my own life has been shaped by these moments of clicking.

In my professional years, I noticed how certain colleagues could work together almost effortlessly. Meetings flowed. Decisions felt clear. There was a shared cadence in how problems were approached. At the time, we might have called it chemistry or mutual respect. Only later did I realize that we were, quite literally, in sync, mirroring speech patterns, pacing, even silences. The work felt lighter because the human connection was aligned.

But I have also lived the other side of this.

I have experienced relationships, professional and personal, where that same synchrony accelerated tension. When people click too quickly, differences can be overlooked, assumptions go unchallenged, and emotions intensify before wisdom has time to catch up. With age, I’ve learned that clicking can be a fast track not only to intimacy, but also to disappointment or drama.

When I was younger, I trusted the feeling almost completely. If the connection felt right, I assumed it was right. Time has tempered that instinct. Today, I notice the click, but I don’t rush to interpret it. Experience has taught me that rhythm is not the same as shared values, and ease is not the same as depth.

What resonated most deeply in Murphy’s article was the idea that synchrony happens largely outside our awareness. That explains why these encounters can feel almost spiritual in nature, something beyond logic, beyond control. And yet, the older I get, the more I believe we are called not just to experience connection, but to discern it.

As a Roman Catholic and as someone who has spent years reflecting on human fear, continuity, and meaning, I now see clicking as an invitation rather than a conclusion. An invitation to listen more closely. To slow down. To ask whether this harmony leads toward truth, compassion, and growth or merely comfort.

There is also hope here. Synchrony, the article notes, can be nurtured through presence and attentive listening. That aligns with what life has taught me: the deepest connections I’ve known were not always instant, but they became profound because both people chose to stay attentive, patient, and open.

After years of watching people and myself, I no longer romanticize the click. I respect it. I notice it. And I place it within a larger story that only time can reveal.

Sometimes the music starts immediately. Sometimes it takes a while. And sometimes, wisdom lies in knowing when to listen rather than join in.

That, at least, is what these years have taught me.

Meanwhile, here's the AI Overview:

It has been scientifically measured the state of interpersonal synchrony, where two people subconsciously align their biological and neurological rhythms. 

Recent research in 2026 and late 2025 highlights several key reasons why this happens:

1. Neural Synchrony (Interbrain Coupling) 

When you click with someone, your brains literally sync up. 

• Wired Alike: People who naturally "get" each other often have similar brain structures in social regions, a phenomenon called homophily.
• Shared Perception: Close social networks show similar neural activity when processing stories or making sense of the world.
• Predictive Ease: When syncing, your brain's "prediction error" is minimized, making the interaction feel effortless rather than laborious. 

2. Fast Conversation Response Times

A major indicator of clicking is the speed of dialogue. 

• 250-Millisecond Gap: Research from Dartmouth College shows that "clicking" is predicted by incredibly fast response times.
• Sentence Finishing: Pairs who click often close the standard gap between speakers, nearly finishing each other's sentences. 

3. Biological Mirroring

Beyond conversation, your bodies perform "deep-seated method acting". 

• Physiological Alignment: You may uncannily sync up heart rates, blood pressure, pupil dilation, and hormonal activity.
• Emotional Channeling: Subconsciously mirroring subtle facial twitches allows you to actually feel the other person's happiness or anxiety. 

4. Psychological Accelerators

Certain behaviors and environments fast-track the "click": 

• Vulnerability: Sharing meaningful or "gut-level" remarks creates an environment of trust that fosters instant connection.
• Language Style Matching (LSM): People who unconsciously mirror each other's use of function words (like "and," "the," or "it") feel more connected.
• Shared Humor: Shared laughter acts as a "secret signal" that you see the world the same way.
• Proximity: Physical closeness and unplanned, ordinary exchanges (like sitting near someone in a class) create the "social glue" for a click to occur. 

These articles explain the scientific reasons behind instant connection, detailing neural synchronization, conversation speed, physiological mirroring, and psychological elements such as vulnerability and shared language.

Finally, My Reel of the Day-Water Lilies in Bloom

https://www.facebook.com/reel/4404391786459199

Lastly, here's the top Five News of the Day:

🇺🇸 U.S. Politics & Government

1. U.S. government partially shuts down — Congress failed to pass a spending bill on time, leading to another federal government shutdown. Critical agencies could see interruptions, impacting services and funding until a new budget is approved. 

2. DOJ releases final tranche of Epstein case files — The U.S. Justice Department finalized its long-running review and released 3.5 million pages of records related to Jeffrey Epstein’s network and activities. 

🇺🇸 Domestic Protests

3. Widespread anti-ICE protests across the United States — More than 300 demonstrations are planned in all 50 states this weekend, part of a campaign demanding radical immigration enforcement reforms amid recent controversy over federal agent conduct. 

🌍 International Conflict

4. Deadly Israeli strikes in Gaza — Israeli air attacks have killed at least 30 Palestinians, including children and police officers, marking one of the deadliest days in the ongoing conflict. 

🇺🇸 U.S. Elections & Congress

5. Key special election underway in Texas — A special congressional election could flip control of the House of Representatives, narrowing the Republican majority as Democrats contest the seat.